new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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