I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
