so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
