this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
