careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize