I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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