when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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