You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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