Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
