It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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