Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
