I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
