I think I died a long time ago.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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