it's not cheating when I paid for it
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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