is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
