so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize