I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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