the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
