I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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