Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize