Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
