Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
