Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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