My cat gives me a boner
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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