It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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