...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
