Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
