My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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