Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
