I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
