Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
