Your mouth is God's brothel.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
