bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
