it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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