Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize