Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
