I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
