You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
