Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
