Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish i was in the wii world.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
