Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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