drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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