Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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