how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
