No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
wow bdsm is so cute
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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