so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My cat gives me a boner
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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