I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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