STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
