Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
