apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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