The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
