If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
