I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
