Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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