she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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