That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
