dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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